Many Americans believe wholeheartedly in conspiracy theories. We never landed on the moon. JFK wasn’t assassinated by a single shooter. The CIA created the Aids epidemic. A secret group, with members of the NCAA at the helm, controls the world. Cool Ranch Doritos make you want to eat more Cool Ranch Doritos. The end of the Iowa UCONN game Friday night will only add fuel to the fire.
With :09 left on the clock and UCONN down 1, a referee called Aaliyah Edwards for an illegal screen that will go down as one of the worst calls in Final 4 history. Anyone who knows the game of basketball knows you can’t make that call in that moment. You have to let the players decide the game. Instead, everyone who believes the powers that be want Caitlin Clark in the championship game now has all the proof they need that the game was rigged.
Of course it wasn’t. If it was, why would Iowa have turned the ball over on two consecutive possessions down the stretch? Why would Clark have allowed herself to be so easily double teamed and thrown the ball away on a previous possession? While I do believe the NCAA and the networks were hoping for an Iowa-South Carolina final, I don’t think they could actually rig the game. They just kinda, sorta, made sure Iowa had every chance to advance.
The same could be true for tomorrow’s games. The secret powers that be absolutely want to see a UCONN vs Purdue final. As gamblers it’s our duty to try to take advantage of this situation. So here’s what I’m doing.
Tonight, I took a 3 team moneyline parlay with the UCONN women and the Purdue and UCONN men at +136. Tomorrow, I’ll look for a few other options to pair with UCONN and Purdue. Here’s a few I’m considering.
Purdue Moneyline, UCONN moneyline, South Carolina moneyline (-123)
Purdue Moneyline, UCONN moneyline, Lakers moneyline (+105)
Purdue Moneyline, UCONN moneyline, Atlanta Braves (+102)
If I bet anything remotely big on any of these parlays, I’ll also take small positions on NC State +9.5 and Alabama +11.5 and hope the underdogs can stay within the number.
The Fake Eyelash Effect:
Lastly, I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on the impact those long, fake eyelashes have on opposing teams. Maybe we can get the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute or one of the other conservative think tanks to commission a study. I have no idea what fashion statement they make, or what cultural cache they hold, but they’re kinda intimidating. Can you extend your reach and block a shot with really, really, really long eyelashes? South Carolina’s Kamilla Cardoso and a few others wear em and no one on Iowa does. This alone has to add an additional 2 or three points to the spread.
Happy gambling!
