In episode 5 of HBO’s new drama Mare of Easttown, the writers so blatantly ripped off the ending of Silence of the Lambs we feel compelled to compare the heroics of Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet and crown our nation’s best detective.
WARDROBE
Clarice is more professional, rockin’ FBI business attire whereas Mare is more REI hunter gatherer. Clarice likely makes a lot more money – the FBI certainly has more resources at its disposal than a small town Sheriff’s office – so Jodie Foster can afford to buy nicer clothes. Mare’s been suspended from the force and all of her savings are spent on keeping the fridge stocked with Rolling Rocks. That’s the one thing that bugs me about the show. There’s always a Rolling Rock in the fridge but we never see her shopping for beer. Who’s buying the beer? Anyway, Mare gets the edge here because when you’re tracking down bad guys, it’s easier to do it in a pair of jeans and a flannel than a tweed sport coat. EDGE: MARE
BAD GUY
Buffalo Bill is taking human beings, removing their skins and making outfits. He’s not just a serial killer, he’s a fashionista! At the very least, you’d have to have an associate’s degree in dermatology. The perp in Mare of Easttown is just a sicko who smokes Winstons. Clarice had to do research and meet with sociopaths to uncover the mysteries of how Buffalo Bill’s mind worked. Mare just had to have coffee with a local call girl. EDGE: CLARICE
KILL DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY
Clarice was fighting against a power outage and a perp with infrared night vision goggles. Mare was up against a schlub who installed a Walmart security camera. Clarice had to navigate through multiple rooms in the dark and use her sense of smell to make the kill. Mare just had to grab a pipe and whack the guy over the head to knock him out so she could grab her deceased partner’s gun. However, it should be noted that Clarice had her gun the entire time but Mare – after deciding to plant heroin in the mother of her grandson’s car – was unwilling to break the law and carry her own gun as she chased down a pedophile/rapist/killer. EDGE: EVEN
DISTRACTING NOISE MAKERS
The last thing you need when you’re trying to rescue someone from sudden death is an audio distraction. Whether it’s one of your favorite Elton John songs playing in the background or a TV blaring in another room, you need peace and quiet to think through your kill-the-bad-guy strategy. Clarice had to deal with the constant barking of Precious the entire time. Sure the barks lessened in intensity as she moved further away from the pit but the idea that she wasn’t just saving the kidnapped teenager but the life of a precious (see what I did there?) Bichon Frise had to weigh heavy on her mind. Mare, on the other hand, just had to deal with the annoying clanking of some old heat pipes. EDGE: CLARICE
THE SHOT
Michael Jordan over Craig Ehlo has nothing on these two. Clarice’s spin and kill is one for the ages with the director’s slo-mo replay adding to the sheer beauty of the shot fired. Mare’s shots weren’t even the best shot of the scene. The perp’s one shot to the head of Detective Zabel was pretty bad ass whereas Mare’s multiple shots to the body were the adrenaline, anger-filled shots of an ex-basketball player who hasn’t been playing HORSE in anyone’s backyard for a number of years. EDGE: CLARICE
Whenever you rip off another writer’s ending, you’ve got to have a creative twist to differentiate your version. Sadly, Mare’s triumphant return to the force doesn’t live up to Clarice’s original. But with two episodes left, don’t count Kate Winslet out.
