March Madness Winners and Losers

How good is it to have the NCAA Tournament back? It’s like so much better than riots, Presidential elections, filibusters and vaccine updates. Here’s an incomplete list of the winners and losers of the past 96 hours.

To be fair, three of the teams in the Sweet 16 aren’t really a stretch. UCLA beating an offensively challenged Michigan State and a pretty horrible Abilene Christian isn’t exactly a shocker. USC beating Drake and a poor Kansas team was expected. And Oregon getting to play Iowa, a team that loves to run and shoot and plays zero defense, was a gift from the basketball gods.  But raise your hand if you saw Oregon State beating Tennessee and Oklahoma State to get to the Sweet 16? That’s a shocker. And great for a league that gets little to no respect during the regular season.

It’s like showing up to a party and expecting all your friends to be there but no one is there because they all left so now you have to stand in the corner by yourself nursing a beer hoping someone notices you and wants to know why you majored in English in the first place and how that stifled your earnings potential for the last two decades. Michigan is the last one standing. Just so sad for a league all the announcers proclaimed as the strongest in years. Guess they just weren’t that good.

Is it me and my gambling losses or have there been a number of really bad calls over the past four days? Fouls that should have been no calls. No calls that should have been fouls. The foul on Matt Coleman at the end of a game off a blocked shot that’s essentially a loose ball that cost Texas a win? The previous play where Coleman got hacked on a baseline drive and no call was made. Are these refs the best of the best refs or were the six refs that got sent home because of COVID the best refs and these are the replacement refs?

Da da da da da dadada. I keep waiting to get old enough where I don’t like that jingle that anymore but every year I somehow still seem to enjoy the hell out of it. It’s like eating a bag of Cheetos. At 50, I know they’re not good for me and I know I should be eating something better for me. Like tofu with carrots or some shit like that. But if you put a bag of Cheetos in front of me, I’m going to eat then and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. And if you play that CBS jungle connected to the NCAA tourney, I’m going to smile and have it play over and over again in my head for the rest of the day. Powerful stuff that three cord jingle is. Just ask my nine-year-old daughter who used to walk around the house saying, ‘We Are Farmers, Bum ba bum ba bum bum bum.”

There was a terrible announcer alert this weekend and I couldn’t figure out who it was. I could’ve sworn it was Booger McFarland but it wasn’t. It was Brendon Haywood. I know announcing isn’t easy but man it felt like he was trying too hard. I found myself praying before the games came on they wouldn’t assign Spero Dedes (great name) and Brendon Haywood to the game I wanted to watch. But they did. And it sucked.

He’s 77 years old and he’s a national treasure. As far as I’m concerned, they should name a national holiday after this man. Not only has he given us a handful of the best catchphrases in the history of the game (Man-da-man, with the kiss, onions, get the puppies lined up), but his enthusiasm and love of the game is still palpable. If I could be anywhere in the world doing anything in the world, top 5 on my list is listening to Raftery announce a close NCAA tourney game.

They had it. And they just gave it away. Still hurts to say that.

Think basketball isn’t important? Take a look at the Loyola University Chicago website. I mean, this is a University right? You don’t go there to study basketball. You go there to study biology, neuroscience, chemistry, psychology, statistics, criminal justice or a whole host of areas that make the world a better place. But right now, I don’t think there’s a more important person to the future of Loyola University than Cameron Krutwig. I guarantee you more Loyola undergrads know his name than they do the President of the University. And rightfully so. The President can’t facilitate the entire office from the high post like Krutwig can. Also, I guarantee you the President doesn’t look this good in a suit. 

Did you see that late game drive against Oklahoma. Jalen Suggs has a little pre-surgery Derrick Rose in him. He’s not as explosive but he’s got some of that in him. And now you’re telling me in addition to being the best point guard in America, he’s also best friends with Uconn’s Paige Bueckers, the best shooter in America? C’mon. Next you’ll tell me he adopts puppies from rescue shelters and finds them good homes. If you missed the ESPN story about Suggs and Bueckers, here it is. All together now… Awwwwwwww.

There’s only one more weekend left in March. Let’s savor it while we still can.