Wednesday felt like one of those days we’ll never forget. Like the day you realized Cheetos can be eaten for breakfast or the day you darted into the ocean despite being surrounded by a pool of sharks to save a baby turtle while vacationing in the Galapagos. The more you stared at CNN, the more you couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. How were so many of these gross white people allowed to enter the hallowed halls of Congress without so much as a visitor’s pass? No need to discuss the failure of our President, the U.S. Capitol Police or the inherent racism of a system that used tear gas and rubber bullets on BLM protestors but allowed Trump’s supporters to have the run of the place. Our beloved democracy is only as strong as its leaders and these days far too many of them are morally bankrupt.
So what do you do the rest of the day if, after watching CNN for three hours, you just can’t take it any more? Well, you could make a sandwich, help your kids with their homework or watch Die Hard, The Shawshank Redemption or The Fugitive because one of them is always streaming somewhere. Or, you could re-examine your portfolio and make a trade.
I don’t recommend buying stocks out of boredom, but if you happen to buy a stock on a historic day at least you’ll always remember it.
Like if you bought shares of Ford or GM on the day Nixon resigned, or the day the Berlin Wall came down or the day Bob Barker was replaced on The Price Is Right, you’d always remember the day you bought those shares.
“Honey, that’s Lemonade. We bought shares of Lemonade on the day right wing terrorists invaded the halls of Congress because we believe the key to democracy and the economic future of America is the ability to buy insurance on an app on your phone.”
“Why would that make our country better?” my 9-year-old daughter would ask.
“It just would,” I would say, not knowing what else to say and not wanting to watch CNN a second longer.
Investing (and Bono) Can Make A Difference
It’s one thing to buy stocks when the market is headed south but it’s something altogether different to buy when tragedy strikes. Should the market have closed on Wednesday while the Capitol was under siege? Maybe. More importantly, maybe there should be a fund we can all immediately buy into when our nation is under attack from our fellow Americans. A Counter Coup Fund!
Lord knows there’s no lack of socially conscious funds to invest in these days. There’s funds that don’t invest in oil and gas. Funds that don’t invest in guns and war. Funds that don’t invest in Amazon, Facebook, Google or Yeezy. Funds that don’t invest in anything people who listen to NPR don’t like.
The newest fund to enter the socially conscious realm is a climate fund started by Bono and Henry M. Paulson Jr. An addition to the Rise Fund family of socially conscious funds, this latest venture will invest in game changing climate startups that reduce global warming without sacrificing returns for people willing to put their multi-million fortunes to work to improve the planet.
Count me in. The next time right wing zealots decide to take over our country for the day, there should be an immediate way for those of us who want to help the country move in the right direction buy a stock or a fund that can help us get there a little sooner. Maybe a ticker could flash across the screen like a Jerry Lewis telethon. If Bono and Henry (doesn’t seem as powerful when you say Henry solo) have discovered a group of companies that will reduce hurricanes and forrest fires, stop the polar ice cap from melting, reduce global warming and make more pandas possible in a fund that is guaranteed to rise 700% next year like Tesla stock, that’s where I want my money.
And if the fund fails and we don’t all get rich and save the planet? Well, this is America. We can always just write it off.
