If The Motley Fool Sends Me One More Email I May End It

In a few moments, I’m going to tell you about a stock you need to add to your portfolio. It’s a stock that can change your life forever. It’s a stock that will make the hair on your head grow thicker, the strut in your step look struttier and the cash in your wallet look greener and feel heavier.

 Did I mention this stock will change your life?

 It changed mine. And I can pretty much guarantee that it’ll change yours too.

 It will make your husband/wife/lover want you more.

 It will turn your kids into straight-A students and, eventually, Rhodes Scholars.

 It will make you the wealthiest person on your block unless everyone else on your block buys the same stock. Then it will just make you another person on the block who owns this stock.

But don’t worry. If that happens, I will send you another email just like this one except longer.  In fact, the next email will go on for days before I give you the name of another stock that no one else on your block will have because very few people have the endurance necessary to get through these incredibly long marketing emails that appear to be written to attract the average fifth grader.

I will stop now for a moment but do not worry. The story will continue. The story will always continue. Because this one stock that will change your life is a story that will never end. Ever. Not yet. Still not over.  

I’ve subscribed to the Motley Fool for nearly 25 years. I feel like they’re one of my closest friends. In the beginning, the newsletter used to arrive in the mail. I remember waiting to get it every month and getting excited like kids in the ’70s would get excited about their dad’s Playboy subscription. Not that I would go under the bed with my Motley Fool newsletter, but I was pretty excited to see it.

Over the years, they’ve recommended an incredible number of great stocks. I look back on some of those initial stock purchases like they’re my children. Apple was one of my first kids. CTRIP, the Chinese travel company, helped us purchase our house. Paypal will help pay for college. Shopify could help fund my retirement. Plus, they offer sound financial advice.

• Build a portfolio of at least 15 stocks
• Hold each stock for a minimum of 5 years
• Diversify your holdings so you’re not over-weighted in any one sector
• Love and honor your parents

But somewhere around 2010, the marketing started to change. Rather than feeling like you were part of a small, down-to-earth, subculture with a distinct, indy vibe, it started to feel like you were part of a massive marketing scheme that lost its vision and was rampaging out of control. When I recommend the Fool to others, the first thing I always hear is, “Yeah, I Googled them, and the day after I received eight emails asking me to join all these groups.”

I never understood the need for more than one Motley Fool Group. I started with Hidden Gems (now Stock Advisor) and have stayed with that one service. If the 24 stocks that Stock Advisor sends me throughout the year are their best ideas, why do I need to subscribe to five other newsletters that send me 24 other stocks? Why do I need a marijuana newsletter, a fintech newsletter, a micro-cap newsletter, a foreign newsletter, and a whatever Elon Musk is doing newsletter? There’s so much noise out there. I don’t want to subscribe to more newsletters. I want one newsletter that looks at the entire range of financial opportunities out there and says, ‘These are the 10-20 stocks you should be investing in this year.’ And I get that with Stock Advisor. So please, stop trying to sell me on a bunch of other services, when all I want to do is appreciate the one I hope to grow old with.

But there is one stock that’s so rare, only the rarest people on the planet can hear its call. It’s a stock certain to be a ten-bagger in the next decade. I would end this story right now and just tell you what the stock is but first I want to drag things out a little more by reminding you that I am the same newsletter that picked Netflix when it was still delivering DVDs and Apple when it’s biggest thing was a Shuffle.

In a few minutes, I’m going to tell you the name of a stock that could change your life. If you can just not kill yourself between now and then because you’re so annoyed by the condescending nature of this email, you will be so happy to be alive. Because I’m about to send you the name of that stock. I swear it. Just keep reading.